04-09-2025
Imagine that in your home, unsafety is what you constantly feel.
To me that sounds like something you’d want to be unreal.
But still there are many people roaming the earth to which this is a reality.
And no, it is not as easily fixed by just changing your mentality.
Because some of as are confronted with unfortune in the form of cancer.
And eventhough you were only fifteen, no adult would be able to help you get an answer.
“You will be fine and recover!”, is what they all said.
All the while, you had already given a glance at your deathbed.
They ended up being kind of right.
You actually did sort of win the fight.
But you would be left behind with an unseen scar,
that would only reveal itself years later after the end of the war.
Because once there were signs that the war could return,
the complete functioning of your brain would adjourn.
You’d start to see images of the past rising to the surface and coming back,
or express themselves physically in your body through a panic attack.
Where could one go,
if your mind is the shadow?
But you know that at the end of the tunnel, there is light.
Even when it currently doesn’t shine so bright.
I don’t think I have ever been this sensitive to external stimuli.
Even the slightest flicker of light holds the power to make me cry.
But I always like to think of the positive things, somehow.
I’ve never experienced the world as deeply as I do now.